Secluded. Time by myself.

quand j'ai un sourire à peine mon visage, bon souvenir me faites sourire malgré tout

So, to take my mind away from some things that are really bothering me right now, I present.... my pics from EDC last year:

before!

during.

during... more!!

after!!

and while we're at it, here is another picture of me, michael, and kevin's friends at coachella. :)

Look at me, I was so cute!! :D Hehe. I came across these pics again while I was on facebook. Looking at them really made me smile, and think of the good times I had about a year ago. Gosh I need to do more of this, like go to EDC again. Not so much more, but just have more fun again. I didn't go to any events of those proportions this year. Sad. Also, I'm such a ravebaby haha. I also miss hanging out with Kevin and his friends! If you notice in the pictures it was the guys'es idea to take pictures in the same exact position. Pretty funny and cute. Vegas during EDC was super fun with them because we stayed at the Cosmo (!) and they bought me all the food. A golden moment of my life = the tapas bar at Cosmopolitan. SOOO good! top!

But yeah, I just miss living life a little more carefree. I need to put that back into my life again. I just need to have... a lotta fun again. I probably am a partier at heart. ;)

When I can barely keep a smile on my face, good memories, my happinesses in life, manage to make me smile still.

note, ouvert

I really miss last year. Well, another year and I’m a little older. It feels really different. I’m changed. I have different needs and goals, new ones. I’m less naive, but wiser. I feel like I have less, but I guess I have more. I have mistakes and regrets, some resulting from what I thought were smarter choices at the time, but I think they were supposed to happen. I guess I wouldn’t have grown up if it weren’t for them. Yeah, maybe it’s all just a part of growing up. Like things don’t happen without the things preceding them. So. Here I go again.

vegas, 22, growing up, enjoying life

My first night out in Vegas was a blast! Didn't know what I was in for-- I love being surprised. :) I've been before, but just for a daytime party. To be honest I didn't think it would be this fun. And we were so cute, how precious. Dressing up and drinking, doin' it bad, goin' HAM and not remembering the rest of the night! Vegas made drinking fun for me again (thank you Vegas!). And there's something about spending alotta money that makes it all so fun. The American comfort of Vegas. I only went for one night but that was just enough for me. I'm ready to come back again for some real DJs and poolin'. :) I guess this is the kind of thing you do when you're a little more of an adult, with a little more money: you HAM it out.

art ch. 1

So ever since I got back into painting I've been able to really appreciate and be inspired by fellow artists around me, almost more than famous ones. I think it's so amazing that everyone has their own thing that they do so well. I can't even compare in those cases. Hopefully I can develop my art the way I want it to.

i can't believe this was all done by this guy I previously dated, Jordn, who seems like a more typical actor sort of guy. reminds me of how Shawn Barron (a friend of a friend, a pro-surfer who doesn't seem like the artistic type either) does his stuff completely subconsciously. The results are beauty, unadulterated. It's becoming something I'm aspiring to achieve. Right now I'm really hesitant, indecisive and unsure of myself. It's actually really lame, as an artist. I'm learning a lot though. I learned a lot through this class, but I feel like I have sooo much more to learn. I feel like I need to take like 4-5 more painting classes. (yeesh! my lazy self does not like this)

There's also the question of mediums that's been new to me. I've always liked art, but I've never really understood the medium of painting until recently. It would have never occurred to me that it's something I would do. But it's such a beautiful and intricate medium. I think it gets me to chase after it, like film had done when I started wanting to pursue it in high school. Well, if I want to pursue art, I think painting, illustration, and graphic design can all go hand-in-hand in the end, and I don't have to labor over painting only.

Into my little artist hole I go..

Whirlwind.

This moment.

is always updating. is always Now.

Never settle, or settle for less?

I know there will always be another time and another place where I can get what I want, so I’m just going to enjoy everything I have right now until then. I’m not going to worry; I’m going to grow, and I’ll be happy with myself because I am